The Editing Process...
Before or after... Which one do you prefer?
It's crazy how much time you can spend editing something. I am in month 3 of editing Synergism. For those of you who read the original on Wattpad or Ao3, you might be wondering what changes I'm making.
Here are some before and afters. Please note, I changed the names before I started editing.
Some changes are to add sensory description.
Before: The snow had fallen overnight covering everything in a beautiful blanket of shimmering crystals.
After: The overnight snowfall draped the world in a pristine white, a shimmering blanket of ice crystals catching the early morning light. Aidan found the cool, crisp air invigorating. The snow remained undisturbed, untouched by footprints or tire tracks, as if the world held its breath to admire nature’s creation.
Some edits are for improving flow and cohesion.
Before: Ever since that night at the club, they hadn't engaged in any sort of intimate activity. But even without exchanging words on what happened, Yijun knew the status of their relationship had changed. He could tell with the way Aidan's eyes would brighten when they landed on him. The gentle way he would tug on his shirt when he wanted him closer, and the way he would reach for his hand anytime he was wearing gloves were all indicators of how Aidan felt.
After: Since that night at the club, they hadn’t shared another intimate moment. Yet, without a single word exchanged about what transpired, Yijun understood their relationship had shifted. He saw it in the way Aidan’s eyes lit up whenever he looked his way. The soft tugs on his shirt when he wanted him near, and the reaching for his hand whenever he wore gloves, all spoke volumes about Aidan’s feelings.
Then there are small changes... a bit ridiculous since no one would notice but me.
Before: "Ah shit, Yeebs, don't..." Jason said, under his breath as Darryl started walking in their direction.
Yijun ignored Jason and stood to meet Darryl halfway.
"If you're not back here in 10 minutes..." Jason warned.
"Take him to the guest room if you need privacy," Mel said, guessing what Yijun was up to. "Second door on the right, upstairs."
After: “Ah shit, Yeebs, don’t...” Jason said under his breath, seeing Darryl head their way.
Yijun ignored him and stood to meet Darryl halfway.
“If you’re not back here in 10 minutes...” Jason warned.
“Take him to the guest room if you need privacy,” Mel offered, guessing Yijun’s intentions. “Upstairs, second door on the right.”
Do you see the difference? Are the edited versions better? Please let me know your thoughts!!